Here are these same example principles viewed from outside the sign - from outside the dynamic: These describe some of the kinds of experiences Masters and slaves want to have together. These are examples of the hot, sexy rollercoaster. Viewed from the inner side of the sign - from inside the dynamic: How the principles of your M/s relationship are articulated depend on which side of the “you must be this tall” sign you’re looking from- whether you’re looking at things from inside the dynamic or outside of it. It’s possible to agree on a set of general principles and navigate the specifics together as you encounter them. This doesn’t mean you have to negotiate everything up front. How does this principle work when part of what i want as a slave is for my choices to be constrained or controlled by Master? you have to think about, and communicate about, things like: Which choices does Master control? In what contexts? What happens if Master doesn’t want to control certain choices? That takes thoughtfulness and good communication.įor example, how does this principle that “relationship is the overlap of what we both want” work when part of "what i want as a slave" is for Master’s wants to take precedence over mine? you have to think about, and communicate about, things like: What does it really mean for Master’s wants to take precedence over the slave’s? In all cases (really?) or just some? Which kinds of cases? Where are the boundaries? To the extent that Master/slave relationships are based on principles of consensual non-consent, the exact shape and details of the overlap must be worked out over time between Master and slave. Adding Master/slave dynamics in can seem to complicate the picture. Navigating and negotiating relationships is difficult enough when they’re egalitarian. If the overlap is not there, the relationship won’t work. As one GsA slave put it:įor any relationship to work there has to be sufficient overlap. One has to always be able to look at one’s own M/s dynamic and clearly differentiate between fantasy and fact and between abuse and consensual agreement. They’re not the fun sexy rollercoaster-they’re the minimum requirements that allow people to ride the rollercoaster in the first place. Taken together, these facts constitute a kind of “you must be at least this tall to ride this ride” notice, the kind you find outside a rollercoaster barring people from entry unless they meet the minimum requirements. This means there is no one “right way” to do M/s.
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